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Monthly Archives: July 2012

Six Things I Wonder About the Olympics

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As I watch these two weeks like every other person in the world, thoughts enter my mind. They may not make sense, but there we are.

1. Do the female gymnasts that actually have boobs have to tape them down so they don’t hurt? They don’t even have bra lines under those skintight leotards.

2. Why does that one Russian gymnast have like 42 clips in her hair? Why doesn’t she use gelatin like everyone else to keep the flyaways down?

3. Why is NBC the biggest asshole ever, and withholding live events from us, all the while allowing every form of social media (and even themselves) to completely spoil all the major events that most people are interested in? I mean, what the hell, Bob Costas? You say to us ‘oh we will show you later how Michael Phelps won his gold medal’…WTF? I WOULD PREFER TO SEE IT LIVE, THANKS.

4. Will we *ever* see a perfect score in gymnastics again? I mean…ever? Because there were several routines/attempts that looked pretty damned near perfect, if not so, yet they had these deductions where you were like…WHERE? WHERE? HOW? Do the judges have slo-mo vision that allows them to see what we can’t in regular speed? Because even in slo-mo replay, some of those still looked perfect. Bastards.

5. Though I enjoy that Phillip Phillips song, I think it would make a great drinking game. Every time they play it during an Olympics montage, DRINK!

6. That pommel horse looks painful to the inner thighs.

 

ok, I guess this could have been titled ‘Six Things I Wonder About Olympic Gymnastics’, but…whatever. I’m also obsessed with the female gymnasts’ eye makeup.

Ten Things I Learned While Shopping with My Sister

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1. Forever 21 lies. I most definitely felt 31 while in that store. Maybe older.

2. Fashion really does travel in decade circles. That black and white thick-striped shirt or the screaming neon workout wear? Didn’t look good in the 80s, doesn’t look good now.

3. When shopping for a more ‘current’ and ‘trendy’ style, it helps to have someone with you that actually knows what the current trends are.

4. Forever 21 doesn’t carry anything that extends lower than mid-thigh. Things that are that ‘long’ are actually worn as dresses.

5. Hobo-chic actually is a legitimate current style. Here I thought it was just something we joked about when we saw certain celebrities.

6. H&M has stepped up its quality. Ok, well, maybe not ‘quality’, but definitely style trends. I felt I could outfit my entire wardrobe in there.

7. If you wear a small or even a medium, you shall never go naked when you shop at Forever 21.

8. If you wear a large, you are kind of screwed. For help with finding things, see number 3 again.

9. I like sparkly things.

10. We apparently need to open a personal shopping branch in our business, because we could make bank. And when I say ‘we’, I mean my sister.

 

$200 later, I came away with 8 shirts, a super cute 50s style dress that I now feel a need to get new shoes and a belt for, and a $40 pair of jeans. $40. This is more than I’ve spent on jeans in the past 5 years. Scary thing is that this is considered ‘cheap’.

Speaking of those jeans, I am considering them to be semi-skinny jeans. They are much more form-fitting than my usual jeans, but they still have a bootcut to them. I did try on a pair of skinny jeans (which I’ve always said only the ‘skinny’ should ever wear–this excludes me) at my sister’s insistence. I will admit they were not terrible, but I am still not quite at that level of comfort to allow my legs to be fully suctioned to denim when there are bulges that I don’t like. Even if the random lady in the dressing room loved them on me. Maybe if the Brazil Butt Lift workouts do their magic, I will try them on again.

 

That Time I Started a New Blog Because the Old One Didn’t Fit

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Hey.

I’m back.

I canned my old blog, mainly because I wanted to start fresh. I want to be able to post about anything I want without having this albatross hanging over me called ‘expectations’. I started that thing like 4 years ago (wut? omg!<<—and I blame Anna for those typed letters there), and it just doesn’t fit me now. So yeah. New blog.

You will see lists. Might be three things, might be twenty. But lists will be involved. Like ‘Seven Things That Just Shouldn’t Exist’, or ‘Top Five Things My Kids Said This Week That Would Get Them Kicked Out of School’. ¬†Things like that.

I hope you enjoy. This one will be rather stripped down, nothing fancy, but mainly because it won’t fit a ‘theme’. Really, I just want to talk. Metaphorically speaking. Maybe this will be helpful to inspire me to finish that damn book I’ve been writing for nearly 2 years.

If you don’t want to miss a single list, you can subscribe to the RSS feed up top there…don’t ask me what an RSS feed does, I just saw it and thought I would point it out. I’ll figure out how to add a ‘subscribe’ widget somehow (edit: found it! Look to the right) …I’m used to sites that I pay for, that I can put shitloads of stuff on. This one is free. No shitloads of stuff. We will make do.