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Six Things I Wonder About the Olympics

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As I watch these two weeks like every other person in the world, thoughts enter my mind. They may not make sense, but there we are.

1. Do the female gymnasts that actually have boobs have to tape them down so they don’t hurt? They don’t even have bra lines under those skintight leotards.

2. Why does that one Russian gymnast have like 42 clips in her hair? Why doesn’t she use gelatin like everyone else to keep the flyaways down?

3. Why is NBC the biggest asshole ever, and withholding live events from us, all the while allowing every form of social media (and even themselves) to completely spoil all the major events that most people are interested in? I mean, what the hell, Bob Costas? You say to us ‘oh we will show you later how Michael Phelps won his gold medal’…WTF? I WOULD PREFER TO SEE IT LIVE, THANKS.

4. Will we *ever* see a perfect score in gymnastics again? I mean…ever? Because there were several routines/attempts that looked pretty damned near perfect, if not so, yet they had these deductions where you were like…WHERE? WHERE? HOW? Do the judges have slo-mo vision that allows them to see what we can’t in regular speed? Because even in slo-mo replay, some of those still looked perfect. Bastards.

5. Though I enjoy that Phillip Phillips song, I think it would make a great drinking game. Every time they play it during an Olympics montage, DRINK!

6. That pommel horse looks painful to the inner thighs.


ok, I guess this could have been titled ‘Six Things I Wonder About Olympic Gymnastics’, but…whatever. I’m also obsessed with the female gymnasts’ eye makeup.

One response »

  1. I agree with number 4. That vault was obviously perfect. Plus it makes me think “HUDU ON THAT VAULT! LIKE YOU COULD DO IT THAT PERFECT” and really if its the best out of all the best isn’t it, in fact, perfect? oh jeez. rant.


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