There is a microscopic point that exists when ‘fine/I can handle it’ crosses over to ‘unacceptable’.
I think I’ve reached it. I think I hit the fulcrum head-on and knocked it all out of alignment, tipping the scale dangerously to the ‘really pissed off‘ side.
Now is the time that I need to throw caution to the wind and just be me. I always am ‘me’, but there are instances where I tone it back, to fit the situation.
However, if I want to get things done, and get them done NOW, I can no longer accommodate others in this manner (because that is what it is). My passion for what I do, who I am, and what I want need to shine, and shine so bright that people cannot help but be drawn to it.
I don’t do this for myself. I do it for my family. For my husband, who works so hard but sees little return or change. For my precious boys, who deserve to grow up with the utmost positive outlook on life. For those out in the world that I can help, because heaven knows they are out there wanting it, and I can provide it.
Maybe a bit for myself as well, though. I can’t lie. I will work 100x harder for myself than I will for a boss, because I see 100% of the return of my effort, not 10%. Not 5%. Not 5.3%, which is what my salary actually is, compared to the income I bring in for my J.O.B. each year. Pardon me, but I’d rather get that 100%, wouldn’t you?
I want pretty things. I want a pretty life. Why is this a bad thing? When did it become fashionable to put down nice things? Is it merely because 95% of the population DOESN’T have those things? So we feel better about ourselves by trashing the things we don’t (and likely will never) have? Well that is ridiculous. I think it is far more fun to actually get the things, and have no problem figuring out how.
I’ll tell you what…I’ve had people disdainfully comment to me–after I’ve asked them what they would do if their yearly income suddenly became their monthly income, and they know what my business is–they have said, “How would that happen? Through ‘shopping’? (Imagine that world dripping with sarcasm and disgust)” My old answer was always, “well, it takes time, I’m setting up for our future, yada yada…”
I have a new answer.
“You are goddamned right.”
Now please, pardon me, as I have some serious work to do with my ‘shopping‘ business. I’ll be busy getting paid to live my life (literally), while you just move through life.